Something I Wondered

Would Fox News and the Republicans be so angry about Obama if he were white? There seems to be this undertone that, being english and possessed of an understanding of irony and subtext, I see as having the idea that he should know his place. He is, in the end, mortal and failing on some issues, but then those of us who armchair quarterback his decisions have no real idea of what is involved in the running of America, and much the same applies to Gordon Brown, because when we look at George Osbourne and David Cameron, I dont feel that the country should be run by the likes of them.

Brown fucked up, but he is trying and personally I would welcome a return to Old Labour values and the financial industry getting smacked down, with some hard tax legislative statues being applied to the oligarchs and tax exiles who work and live here, but are virtually registered in a PO box in Jersey or Bermuda.

But with Obama, it seems intensely personal, and to be honest, although the left in the US criticised Bush et al, it was still with the innate deference for the office, but Hannity, Beck, O'Reilly, Coulter, Malkin and the whole sick crew seem to steam in with the insults.

So here are some of mine:

Sean Hannity

Looks like he still lives with his mother, and struggles with overpowering sexual feelings towards her which he suppresses by combing his hair really hard and polishing his shoes until he can see his acromegalic, doughy face in it and hopes that the tears blur the reflection enough so he can look at it.

Glenn Beck -

Looks like he would be aroused by sideboob and upskirt shots on gossip websites, and upclose I imagine he smells of babysick and wet bread. Has joyless awkward sex with transexual prostitutes who then cradle him in their arms as he weeps for what might have been.

Bill O'Reilly

Has the expression of someone who is never happier than when a dominatrix has him sobbing into a pair of her used underwear and would probably fake being a haemophiliac to get out of an honest fight.

Michelle Malkin -

Knows that her attractiveness is a cage and a label, and ultimately when the Republican Apocalypse happens, will sit in a metal bikini on a chain as Dick Cheney has eurasian orphans fight each other with shards of glass for his amusement. Republican valley Girl with the depth and candour of a council estate slag.

Ann Coulter - If the Angel of Death did meth for four years whilst stalking a Concentration Camp, most men would still fuck it rather than her. Speaks with a sullen drawl that attempts to convey ennui and learned cynicism but ultimately shows her to be detached and devoid.

No one on Fox News is as clever or witty as they think they are, and the insecurity comes off the screen in waves. I watch it because of schadenfreude.