Consider This

Benefit Fraud actually costs £1.2bn, not the figure of £5.2 as Cameron has previously stated, and therefore gets banded around as the actual cost by the media. The rest of it comes from errors - namely claimants filling out forms incorrectly and computer errors. Now that is a lot of money, but there is a counter argument that has a figure which dwarfs this and goes to a greater argument, which I will articulate.

£13bn is lost through tax avoidance by individuals and another £9 to £12billion by companies and businesses. So each year, this country loses £22 - £25billion to people who can afford to move their holdings and accounts to places in the world that means they do not contribute to this country on the scale that they should.

Now, numbers aside, let us consider what sort of person commits benefit fraud, as 'covered' by the media. Get that image in your mind, the sort of education, the type of programmes they consider as worthwhile and the names that they get called.

Hold that image -

What sort of class are they?

Now imagine the type of person who can avoid paying tax, who can pay accountants and services to facilitate such an action, who can travel to tax havens as easily as you or I can walk to the corner shop for a pint of milk. To what class does that person belong? Do they run companies? Consider that the advantages wrought are cyclical, in that one advantage feeds the other and then I want you to consider why, if the government is committed to a course of action that means to cut the deficit, that it doesn't go after the larger saving? It would be facetious to believe that this is about picking on those who cannot mount a defence and a tame media that will demonise people who were unable to make better choices, wouldn't it?

X-Factor and Autotune

Is anyone deep down that surprised at the idea that some audio has been edited/tweaked on Saturday's show? X Factor is no more about discovering genuine talent than my shaven head is about me not wanting to have it hanging down to my arse anymore. You do not need genuine talent, only an emotionally manipulative backstory, some small degree of talent and you are away.

Here is a list of the winners of the last six seasons, now I can name two that have achieved any real fame beyond the initial interest generated by their winning and even they are painfully generic, talented in the coldest, most technical sense - even Alexandra Burke has devalued her cachet by doing adverts for deodorant and Leona is yet to do anything of true worth - I cannot see her locking herself in a studio with a pound of good grass, a bunch of musicians and producing anything a tenth as cool as Voodoo or The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill. No she will produce ballads that might be technically flawless but have all the emotion of a soft boiled fart and the odd uptempo number that paraphrases whatever is considered 'current' by Cowell et al.

The show is about laughing at those who cannot, or fail to see they cannot sing, thrilling at the possibility of seeing someone make it despite their circumstances and ignoring the fact that they get all that made them interesting knocked out of them until they become polished and anodyne.

The truth of music is that no matter how well you can play, no matter how well produced your record is. there will be a sixteen year old with a broken guitar and a heartful of pain who will blow you away with a chord. That's what makes it great, its been forgotten by the likes of Cowell, who I doubt actually really enjoys music for its own reward. His is a world where everything is product, marketing and financial projections rather than art and passion and pain.

Oh, and only tangentially related - why is it lauded that Will Young and Joe McElderry only come out after their initial flush of success? Why is it that they are considered role models for being fucking cowards in case the fact of what they do in private might upset their chances of hitting the top ten? Essentially they are telling young gay people that they should hide who they are if they want to be considered successful - that's not a role model of any import, is it?

Enjoy X Factor, by all means, but lets not pretend its anything other than light entertainment with no more cultural or artistic impact than a Punch and Judy Show. I like it because Cheryl Cole is mesmerising to look at.

"Someone's Got To Be The Taliban"

Oh dear, yet another politician fails to recognise that computer games are NOT REAL and that when you are controlling an avatar in online play, in no way does it cast any aspersions upon the game, its content, the player or the producers of the game. Liam Fox is the Defence Secretary for the Government, and his comments on the latest Medal of Honour game have created, well not furore, but a vague incredulous disappointment that a politician has said something a bit crap and irrelevant.

I play console games, and if they are well made, have replay value and evoke an emotional reaction of some kind or at least an adrenaline spike, then I cannot give any thought to the socio-political connotations of said game. Manhunt, a third person stalk and slay number, attracted all sorts of fuss - even being 'banned' and yet people played it. The Grand Theft Auto series has been mired in the same controversy - and yet it still sells immeasurably well. Controversy is a marketing tool, regardless of where it originates and the idea that video games contribute to the degradation of the culture allows us the luxury of avoiding confrontation with the larger issues and forces that actually do undermine our values and communities, some of which ironically have been implemented and supported by the ideology of Liam Fox's party. You have to love the Conservatives, really.

Lovely Things

I realised that I mainly post about situations, political and cultural that aggravate me, but the truth is, writing about things that I love are not as evocative but I will be posting positive messages.

Things I Love:

Pop Culture

James Bond. Rarely done well, my concept of him as the Bastard of the British Empire only really took with Connery, and to a lesser degree Dalton and Craig. My personal favourite is actually David Niven, an artful, knowing parody of the post-retirement secret agent but there still needs to be a Bond that combines the hedonism and masculinity with a secret world of terror and espionage.

Prince. In recent years, he seems to have lost the genuine insanity and passion that made his recorded work engrossing but live the man is untouchable: muscular and tight pop that blooms into whatever takes his fancy at a moment, plays with musicians who are disciplined and fierce showmen as well as incredible musicians. Never a dull record, even if they lack fervour.

Stand Up Comedy. There is not one that I rate over the others, I admire anyone who can perform like this and make it look effortless. Regardless of whether they are arseholes away from it, I look to those who see the audience as the point, who speak about truth and make it funny and it is true that the most controversial are those who do not advertise their controversy. Laughter is such a powerful and potent drug, as immersive as good music.

Material Things

Coffee. Good coffee, ground and served in a cafetiere, nothing better, no sugar, not even a splash of milk, the best stuff has a bouquet as complex as a good wine.

People. I enjoy my own company, but I know that I require contact in order to live well and happily, the exchange of energies that arise from interaction, debate, contact and passion is enervating and the point of living.

Boredom and Eastenders Omnibus

Eastenders, first time I have watched it in years and I have forgotten how relentlessly depressing it is. Not in terms of its supposed authenticity, but in how the people of Albert Square fall into the same patterns. That the 'acting' is somehow lauded makes it all the more galling.

At the moment, Phil Mitchell is using crack cocaine. This is demonstrated by him behaving like a wounded bear awoken early from hibernation and finding a wasp in its ear and following every 'drug cliche' in the lexicon of television drama.

What amusement I managed to salvage was from seeing some of the people who once trumpeted that they were leaving to pursue other roles have returned, seeking the security of their old roles but still having that haunted, slightly disbelieving expression - in much the same way that I have seen people I work with, who swore how much they hated their job still in the same position when I see them after a few years absence. The only one I have any time for is Patsy Palmer, who I have an irrational attraction to. Her voice is like nails being hammered into my skull, but in interviews, her intelligence and humanity tend to shine through.

I know millions enjoy it, and my ranting is pointless in the face of that, but come on, surely television should aspire to something more than this - at least have some fun with it.

Suggestions -

Zombie apocalypse.

Guest Directors - Lars Von Trier. Judd Apatow. David Fincher.

Total recasting. But with a steadfast refusal to acknowledge that anything has changed.

A 'breaking the third wall' edition where the cast share their disappointment at how their acting careers have panned out, culminating in hurried phone calls to their agents and Barbara Windsor storming off set in tears whilst Sid Owen reads an old issue of Heat, mouthing the words as he reads them.

Communication

I was visiting my friends the other day, who are expecting a baby any day now and something that my friend said struck me as being particularly salient:

"That it's nothing personal, only politics"

So, sometimes it is important to remember that for all the sound and fury, the majority of those who hold political positions can also be considered and decent people - apparently George W Bush is entirely personable despite the beliefs he holds. However these are rarefied positions, and I feel it is important that we must put some political ideas and situations in the appropriate context.

So, some people we can shake hands and share a drink with, others are sociopaths or aggressively incompetent. Which applies to all aspects of the political spectrum, in my experience.

However, as I see it, there are considerations that should matter, regardless. Certain untruths and positions that even reasonable people would see as unfair and even perverse. Now my bias is apparent, and it comes from my place of deep compassion and concern, not envy nor am I working through any psychological displacement or neuroses.

Sir Phillip Green is a fundamental example of the concept that businessmen somehow possess the necessary skills to be effective as part of government, ignoring the fact that he is unaccountable to the people. He has been appointed to a position where he will be overseeing governmental spending, an 'Austerity Czar', a non-title that gives him power and influence over our money.

He managed to avoid paying some £285 million by transferring dividends from the sale of his business to his wife, a resident of Monaco, a tax haven and yet somehow David Cameron believes that this, combined with his business experience makes him more qualified than you or I, to oversee governmental spending - mainly he says to oversee IT contracts, but his remit will include health care and such, all the things that we have(or had) an expectation that government will provide for us, that we pay taxes for.

So, essentially the government has put someone in charge that you did not vote for, who does not pay in the same way you do, and he will now decide where your money gets spent. How does that make you feel?

Now, normally you would get complex arguments from left-leaning commentators, politicians et al and as angry as we would all feel, these would be limited to the places we already frequent, both physically and intellectually. It is not enough that we engage our fellow travellers emotionally, we have to get more people onside, we have to make our message simpler and more effective.

We need to start pointing out, without being patronising or elitist, why people should not tolerate these situations, get them to ask questions about why this country, and this world is the way it is. You do not have to dumb down, we have spent far too long seeing our media and our politicians spoon feed us insubstantial gruel whilst outside our window, we see things fall apart and this is not reflected anywhere. Conversely, the messages need to reflect what is good about us, as people, reflecting that we love and live and find joy in things and events that we cannot, or should not put on the credit card.

We went to war on a lie, which arose not from conspiracy, but from the combination of economic forces, human decisions, political ideas and events that no one in charge could have foreseen but the truth is, we go to work on similar lies, the ones we tell ourselves about why and what we work for, and the ones we choose to believe to get us through the day. The world works for a small percentage of people, and for the rest of us, we have to labour beneath the delusion that we can join that small percentage if we can build a better life for ourselves or if we give up notions of love, freedom or charity.

Stop tolerating all the horror and start considering what we can do about it.

Immigrants

I have no problem with immigration, at all. I met a young woman today who is flying out to Greece to do bar work, no one around us happened to be anything other than pleased for her. These were reasonable people and I resisted the temptation to start a conversation around the other scenario. Not that I feel that the general anxiety around immigration should be dismissed, but it is important to set aside the racism that permeates the media coverage. Jobs aren't going to anyone, let along immigrants.

Also, when the press talk about immigrants, they mean brown and black people. My friend Brett is a New Zealander and not only is he immensely entertaining, intelligent and considerate, he helps people in his role as a union rep(note that the qualities and the role he does are connected, I myself am a rep) Not once have I ever heard anyone question his place in this country, nor would they because Brett is built like a third act antagonist.

The coverage of immigration in the tabloids is increasingly less subtle, and I fail to see the difference between some of the stories and BNP statements. Further to this, the issue is yet another distraction from the real struggle - to divide and conquer so that the working class are directed to pour their resentment onto a particular target.

Dr David Kelly

The recent resurgence for calls into a further inquiry into the circumstances of his death made me think about a few things:

1. 1. The timing of this seems to fit in with the ideological push to detract from the Coalition's performance to the idea that Labour were to blame for everything. This is useful especially when you realise that the author of a book about the case is a junior minister in the Coalition.
2. The cause of death was not limited to the severing of an artery - other causes were attributed to the ingestion of co-proxamol and existing atherosclerosis. Not that the reports mention it, no its the omission of all the facts that tells the whole story.
3. There can be no clear indications as to why and when someone will commit suicide, the failure by Norman Baker to understand this and that reports state the opinion of neighbours and the friends is genuine in their disbelief, but the phenomenon of suicide is poorly understood, and seizing on this for the purpose of advancing an inconsistent conspiracy theory is sad and degrading.
4. The inquest was postponed in order to avoid conflict with the Hutton Inquiry, and yes, it is held to more stringent standards, which may be key to resolving the matter although I doubt, that for some people, it will bring neither comfort or closure. Still, if the family give their consent, then I hope that it will settle the matter once and for all. My guess is, it was the Lizard People.

Andy and Nick

Alan, oh dear. Do you genuinely believe your recommendations will be listened to? Its a panacea, a placebo to assuage whatever your view of what this coalition is. Yet seeing as Blair moved everything over to the right, it has its own sad logic.

Ah, Nick. I recall with some clarity the excitement that you offered the electorate, that you were speaking truth to power as it were, even my good friend Sean seemed enthused about it. I was still voting for Tony Wright regardless, but you made me consider.

In hindsight, my tribal loyalty was wise, even in defeat I felt I voted for the right party, and now I get to watch you sing backing vocals to the Conservative government. That you are part of a government that characterises benefit claimants as scroungers, that is targeting the most vulnerable amongst us, that is steadfastly avoiding tackling tax avoidance and corporate financial malfeasance, destroying the social contract in the most fundamental way possible and all you got was a good place at the table and the vague promise of electoral reform galls me. You sold your party and your country out, I hope it was worth it.

Your words are cheap and pleading, with all of the integrity of a drunken lech trying to get laid. I am sure you meant well, but I cannot respect someone who genuinely cannot see the nature of their betrayal and come conference, I would hope that your members provide you with some perspective, but in my experience such dissent will be ruthlessly managed, it happens a lot, allegedly. However, I hope enough of it gets through, or that you remain ignorant and other more sympathetic parties get a healthy boost of members and activists.

The Game Is Rigged

What class do you define yourself as?

I've always believed I was working class, growing up, my mum and step dad brought their council property under buy to let, we went to the cinema rather than the theatre, except for pantomimes at Christmas, I went to state schools and we had free school dinners paid for as I recall with a plastic token, and having to let the school secretary know.

Politically, my family were 'small c; conservatives and I tended to live inside my own head, supplemented by comics, computer games and books. My discovery of political consciousness happened when I was in the Royal Navy, when I found myself at the sharp end of global politics and started asking why I was stuck for months on end at sea, enforcing a no-fly zone against a country that, as far as I could see, wasn't hurting anyone I knew.

(Not to say, that I disagree with intervention, but it has to be for the right reasons. When you sell weapons and training to a country you later invade, that may well be realpolitik but I wonder if other solutions are ever presented.)

But yes, I do consider myself working class. I tend to see people as individuals, but to deny that in this country, a class system exists is a fallacy. In fact, Grant Morrison once characterised that we have as rigid a caste system as India, with the attendant discriminations but it is invisible to those who cannot see it. I don't use this to characterise this as that other people are sheeple, the parts of my brain that store thoughts like this have rendered me useless in so many other areas. ( In fact, in any post-apocalypse scenario, leave me, I have no practical skills and I would be better off as a source of protein.)

The wonderful trick played upon us, is the idea that we are now all middle class and that means that we can be dissuaded from pursuing activism in pursuit of equality by a simple societal ego-massage. Middle and working class people don't send their children to public school, the middle class actually are in the top 10% of earners and well fuck it here is a guide for you -

Do you work for a wage? If so, you can reasonably be considered working class.

Are you salaried and your position relates to the management of others? Then you are middle class

If you are reasonably considered to be in a position of influence and have control over the means of production, then you are upper/ruling class.

So, it is a wonderful trick because most of us would consider ourselves middle class, it sounds more pleasant and aspirational does it not? Yet those of you who consider yourselves middle class and are actually working class are part of the problem, in such the same way minstrels and house negroes harmed race consciousness, so does this aspirational sleight of hand harm our social consciousness. Not that I blame you, we all should have goals to better ourselves, but consider that you should look inside of yourself for happiness, it requires less compromise on your part and it sustains long after the fact.

The game is rigged, but you cannot lose if you do not play. If you can step away from it, you can see how divisive and poisonous the whole thing is, how it has been used to prevent a fairer and more equal society, to keep things exactly as they are, which benefits only the smallest portion of society. Trinkets to keep us from seeking out the real treasure. How do you do this? Irony helps, but you can educate yourself and you can ask questions, you can get involved with something as simple as an email, but the time will come when people will tolerate no more, and you should consider whether you want to be a house pet or a lion. Hear me roar.

Conspiracies A Quiz

Multiple Choice

A. Somewhere in a room a group of people decide how the world is going to run over the next decade, where the wars will start and end, what new innovations will hit the market and generally ensure things run as they always do. They probably have ninjas to kill you if you found out the truth, but no one will believe you, unless you find a messageboard where others have pieces of the puzzle and you can all laugh at the sheeple.

B. Market forces, unintended consequences, people making decisions that are based on incomplete evidence or faulty data, political pressure and media pressure, or their assessment that this is the right thing to do, mental illness, following or trying to second guess trends in other fields, economic pressures and random events.

Which of these is more likely? Please choose three options

A. That everyone in government at the time of the WTC bombing was a soulless psychopath?

B. That Al Qaeda pulled off an act that they will never be able to pull off and that it was missed because of interagency co operation failings?

C. That every white person involved in civil contingencies around the time of Hurricane Katrina was spineless and/or a sociopath and that every black person was spineless?

D. That people make mistakes, that the idea that someone controls the world and that if we were to become aware of their existence, we would be WATCHED and possibly eliminated.

E. That no one controls anything, that you and I are in the greater scheme of things insignificant outside of our immediate circle of friends and colleagues and that the world kind of farts and bumps its way along, that we can work together if we want to, but we are mercy to our own impulses and fears.

I will mark these later, there is a prize

Me and Conservatism

I can understand being frugal, saving up for things is hard and sometimes when unexpected events happen, you have to go without a bit, prioritise as you see other people spend money on things without a care in the world. Delayed gratification, self-discipline these are traits that are useful to navigate this world. I saw a bit of that growing up, my mum worked full time after she split up with Brian and we went without a bit, not too much but as a kid, you notice these things, my kids don't get everything they want, and that breaks my heart sometimes, but I love them as much as my mum loves me, which is infinite. My mother, well I couldn't put into words how much I love her, and I am a pretty verbose man.

I do not blame the people who choose not to work, when they can make a decent living off of leaving their pride on stand by whilst they either go to the benefits office to sign on or the doctors to get another assessment, and if your rent is paid, your council tax is a notional thing then you can have money for things - when you see that most unqualified positions are minimum wage, why would you? Pride is nice but it doesn't put an IPhone in your back pocket. They are merely a symptom or simply intuitively and instinctively smart enough to not buy into the idea that working hard is at all noble.

Working hard is noble if you love what you do - otherwise its at best necessary to pretend to, I love what I am doing at the moment.

Because they serve a purpose to certain people - and its not just benefit claimants, its Moslems, european migrants, asylum seekers, gays, lesbians, the elderly,the homeless, vegetarians(Insert the tabloid target here)

If we have these people to blame, to project our frustrations onto, then we do not have to look at why we work the longest hours in Europe, why we have a minimum wage rather than a living wage, why we see these fellow human beings as something lesser than us rather than people. You know people like your friends, your parents, your lovers - they speak different languages and hold different values but ultimately, they are us. Maybe they dont see things the way you do, but I bet you do not hold the same opinions throughout your life, do you? If you actually looked at these people and saw them as people, not as projections of your own frustrations and envy, you should then ask why am I being directed to hate these people?

We have a government who specialise in divide and rule, where they point out and remove the protections that are the mark of a mature society and claim it is for our own good, when in truth it is merely to allow private enterprise to swallow up more of the things that we rely upon when we are weakest. Not everything should or could be run for a profit, it does not mean that it will be more efficient or that it will offer more, but that it will be run to make money.

Compassion is not trendy or clever, it has been made to feel mawkish and weak, but it is not, compassion is the deepest strength you can have as a man or a woman and it is something that I do not believe this government has, collectively. Compassion is not about doing things for people that they could do themselves, it is about doing things for those who cannot do for themselves, it is about helping them help themselves, and in truth, getting them jobs isn't the solution, it should be about getting them good jobs that pay a decent wage, that their rights are protected and that they are not fucking demonised by the same ideas that paid them off with disability benefit twenty years ago.

My tutor Pete said that " Love goes out the window when poverty moves in" We need love because a lot of people are going to be poor, or a lot poorer very soon. I don't think that money is a virtue, it is an illusion that stops us from asking why are things this way? We are at the mercy of impersonal forces, of individual mistakes and ideologies that crush our dreams and our hopes. We need love right now, more than ever. And I love you. Because you're you, and you are making the best decisions you can, same as I am. I don't judge you, I just wish you well. I am angry a lot not because I am worried that I am being screwed out of something, but because I do not feel that the world works for most of us, we have to fight for whatever small amount of joy we can gather to ourselves. I am proud of where and who I am, I was raised by good people, decent family who enabled me to think for myself. I want better for all of us.

More Coming

I am working on a post about conspiracy theories and how they impact on history and present politics, and their place, also a bit of a love letter to David Aaronovitch who has kicked the back doors of my belief system in.

Size Zero

Oh does this paper not understand irony?

Please, this paper regularly posts mocking articles about celebrities' weight gain.

Here

And a comprehensive review, analysis and swift kick to the nuts here

Words fail me.

Parenting

When you deal with a relative with drug and/or alcohol problems, it is difficult not to fall into the standard responses that society tells you to: for me, its not that I want him to stop entirely, but if it is a case that he 'sucks at drinking or doing drug' then stopping might stymie all of the other issues he has. You stop being angry, and sometimes it veers between premature enlightenment and exhaustion when you see the cuts on his forearms, when you show him how to apply for a twelve hour a week cleaning job and when he offers to wash up his cup, you forget how young he is. It hurts when you can see how much pain he is in, and you cannot do a single thing about it. That you can only learn to seperate who he is, from the things that he does and that still hurts like nothing I have ever known.. It is worse for Patsy, she has that maternal instinct to contend with and sometimes war against, because some of you will never have conversations where you agree that prison might be the best thing for your son. It teaches you compassion, it teaches you to be tolerant and it teaches you that there is no one way to raise a child, or to deal with his problems. I wish I could make him better, but it is not down to me or my wife or any of the people who support him as he exists. He has to make the choice as to what sort of person he wants to be.

Things That Make Me Cry

With laughter-

Ben Howgate Soo wishes he had the money to go to America

20 hours ago via Facebook for iPhone · Comment · ·

• Jodie Roots likes this.
• • 

    Carl Guyton Me too then I wouldn't have see you anymore

    12 hours ago ·
  • 

    Matt Blissett lol

    2 minutes ago · ·

    
    

    
    

    
    

Business

War is, in reality, horrific and something that I sincerely hope we evolve past. As a metaphor and when depicted artistically, it does make for some great art. However what I find utterly reprehensible, even as I can reframe it as being justifiable if you were interested in achieving new streams of revenue is profiteering from it. By that, I mean making money off of the inefficiencies of the supply stream and more importantly, off of the deaths of soldiers.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/07/28/AR2010072802525.html

There is no point asking yourself how they sleep at night, they do because they have the relative luxury of being removed from the idea that these are people who see these policies as anything other than numbers, revenue streams, opportunities. Morality and ethics do not make for revenue streams and financial opportunities. That our country and the U.S trumpet our war effort, whilst certain elements of the business sector see it as an opportunity to make money speaks volumes about who really is in control of things. Not that I am a conspiracy theorist, because as Jon Ronson put it so eloquently - it is far scarier if you believe that no one is in control of anything, that it all comes down to the markets. Business eats first. More later

Cruelty - Reality

Four Weddings - The Biggest Loser - two examples of shows that claim to be 'reality', when in truth they are carefully edited narratives made on the cheap with the same adherence to protagonists and antagonists, peaks and troughs and moral points. It is amateur dramatics, cinema verite made with the intention that it somehow shows people 'as they are'. LIE.

It holds up a mirror, sure, but a funhouse mirror, one that highlights whatever the producers want to show up about us. I have a problem with the cruelty of some of these shows, and I exclude Pineapple Dance Studios as it is arch camp theatre rather than reality per se.

People can say things that are cruel, misanthropic and ill-tempered, but usually they are spoken in hushed whispers because they understand tact. But no, we live in an age that oscillates between berry oiks like Clarkson and Kyle, skeletal pie-eyed wraiths who exist on prescription pills and celebrity tragedy and lumpen scowling nonentities who sit in judgement on everyone but themselves. Our new gods encourage us to be honest, so go tell that old lady on the bus that she smells of piss or point out that crop tops and post-natal weight gain are not a good luck, laugh OUT LOUD at the old man wearing shorts and a parka in July heat. You don't need talent or determination anymore, its about how much frenzied adulation you can create, or how thick your skin/brain is. Go on, set up a Facebook group so that your squalid opinions can meet with other less defined prejudices and they can all daisy chain one another, breeding so that you can all walk around laughing to yourselves that at last you have people who agree with the voices in your lumpy greasy skull.

I am not saying that I want to live in some kind of repressed, twisted sub-Victorian hell but I want people to come from a place of deep compassion in how they live. We should stop taking the piss as a reflex and try to show some restraint on the important things, we should be teaching people, giving them good choices(the important kind not Cameron's version of it, which is choose to businesses run everything, yeah!)

I like blogging

Relationships

OK, some things about relationships:

1. Mentioning your girlfriend/boyfriend/wife etc in every post/breath is endearing at first, because we have all been in love, but when it becomes the internet equivalent of a nervous tic, it is FUCKING BORING. Seriously, there is no one secret to happy relationships, because it is about negotiations between two individuals(or more- giggedy) and sometimes there are misunderstandings, there are always emotions and you know what, if I talk to you, and all you have to talk about is your relationship - 'well, I remember when I first got laid'. Babies are the exception, because having a baby is although not a miracle, is fairly fucking close especially when you struggle to have one or lose one. Babies blow your world apart, they do not repair relationships, they are not distractions from the gaping void when you look in the mirror and as long as you know that the commitment is for life, and that you think about how and when you raise your child, you're golden. Its great being a precocious fucker like me, with a thirteen year old and a seventeen year old, seeing all my friends now having babies. Friends' babies are awesome because you can give them back.

That's the secret - we tell our single friends how awesome marriage and babies are because WE WANT YOU TO SUFFER AS WE HAVE. As you revelled in adventure and drowned yourself in nubile flesh, whilst we sat there watching television, eating Doritos AND NOT HAVING SEX, we plotted our vengeance. It wasn't that we didn't like you nor did you rub our noses in it, but it is something that married people do to their single friends, like a genetic imperative. I have broken the vow all Married Men and Women take to reveal this, but I cannot live with the lie anymore. You know blow jobs, they stop - I didnt tell you that the time, I wanted to but there was a married guy with a Dragunov and he had a clean shot that would have turned my skull to mush. Sorry.

2. Relationships. Some people would be more dignified if they stuck to masturbation.

Welcome To My World

I feel like Superman sometimes, alive and determined in a way I have not for years. I am so much more confident now than I used to be, I use the nerves I feel when entering into something new to give me the confidence and energy I need to power through whatever life throws at me, I understand how to use language to achieve my goals and to positively influence both myself and other people. I can enter trance states, recall memories and either relive them or minimise their impact within me.

When you recall that feeling, feel it spreading out to every part of your body, permeating every fibre of your being until you feel composed entirely of that feeling. Every breath increases the sensation until it becomes a pure state of being - you are calm, enervated and utterly relaxed.

Welcome to my world